I'm sitting here it is 4 in the morning on the last day of 2009! Yes, you read right I am up at 4am I have been up since 3am actually and am wide awake! I just woke no real reason just wide awake thinking of all the things I want to do this coming year.
2009 has been extremely busy and not in a productive way. It has been good as far as my children and callings have gone. But my home has been sorely neglected and that my friends worries me very much. I love my home and all that it involves from cleaning the toilet, cleaning the lint trap, to the more enjoyable hanging fresh clean laundry on the clothesline.
Why should the place that I serve the most important people in my life be neglected for the sake of serving others outside of my home. I know I should serve my fellow man but isn't my family the most important? Yes!
Am I setting that example to my children, yes! Is it an example I want them to learn, to serve others wholeheartly, yes. At the expense of their families, No!
So for 2010 I am returning home. I am going to strive to put all others and all things behind my family.
I have so many things that I want to return to from the simple oil lamp to light our home a very simple reminder of our simple life we lived off grid in Montana. Getting rid of the weight of so many things that just collect dust. Sitting and enjoying the outdoors reading with my children, watching the hungry birds devour yet another filled birdfeeder, enjoying a lovely new handmade skirt with handmade cotton slip underneath, and simply enjoying the beauty around me. Soaking in the scriptures and kneeling humbly and listening to what the Lord has in store for me.
So many things I have taken for granted this year and so many things and opportunities I have missed all for the sake of the world. We gave the kids simple things for Christmas puzzles, games, etc. The games we have been playing every night and the laughter that has rung in our home is something that has been sorely missed, am I am so sorry for that.
It is my job to keep the flow of our home moving in a peaceful, caring, loving way and I have let my own stress of life, hurt feelings, others opinions, my husband's stresses and worries take over the enviroment and it has affected us greatly.
What started out as maybe a list of things I want to do has turned into me realizing so many things I have taken for granted and so many things I have forgotten. This year will be my year of simple remembrances and the meaning behind why I love to wear skirts most of the time because I am a woman and what a gift that is!
I started really studing Proverbs 31 the other day and WOW is all I can say. To simply read it doesn't do much but to actually study really opens your eyes and I want to strive to be that kind of woman, one that her family is proud of, one that Heavenly Father knows I can be.
Not what the world thinks a woman should be.
For all the people I know who read this I love you and am proud to call you my friend for those I don't know I wish I did! I send my love to all and hope that at the closing of this year you see what is for you to see that with Heavenly Fathers loving guidance you can learn and grow to be what he knows you can be!