Tuesday, July 10, 2012

What goes in must come out...

Don't they look yummy! I thought they were I made them for a funeral a few months back they were white flour, honey, and honey butter glazed...delish!

Food, its important its keeps us going, gives comfort (especially here in the south), brings people together....I am sure we could come up with more.

I have been thinking lately and I know, I know that ALWAYS gets me in trouble, food is important but the kinds of food is what is more important.

For two years now I have had anxiety I am really and I mean really tired of it. Sometimes I cry because I am so tired of it, feelings of being nothing but a problem and nothing but trouble plague me sometimes. Of course being told this by someone doesn't help at all. I have been told by 2 people that my family and church family are very unhappy because of me. This on top of other things has made me turn in on myself made me reevaluate what I do and who I do it with, who I talk to and now everytime I walk in the temple I cry since I feel I am not worthy to be there because someone else made me feel I was unworthy of every breath I take.

So this post isn't just what we put in our mouths but what we let go into our ears and how it comes out.  I love to cook I am not very good at it but I do love to cook with plain ingredients, real foods, not canned foods creating something out of something basic makes me feel good.

Almost three weeks ago I gave up colas I love them I mean really love them. Coke and Dr Pepper are my favorites unfortunately. I don't drink coffee or black tea, I don't even know how to make coffee but colas are my downfall. One Saturday hubby and I went grocery shopping and we grabbed a coke to share while we shopped about 10 minutes maybe less after I took my first sip the anxiety started and was really bad I just wanted out of the store leave the cart where it was and leave. I pushed on hubby was with me... he always helps and is patient with me.

As I went to take another sip of coke it hit me that I was fine until I drank that cola. So I haven't had one in 2 1/2 weeks and the anxiety hasn't been so bad. It's there but not heart racing can't catch my breath panic attack anxiety.

So I have been thinking alot and colas are the first my next favorite is brownies so they are next probably at least for now. I know to listen to my body and I can figure out what is wrong that way but the last two years I have only heard the anxiety and that has made me blow up what I think I am hearing.

I know that white flour, white sugars, lets just say breads in general bother me not in the way that my health isn't bad but sensitive too. I am actually a healthly person, overweight and feeling old somedays, but healthy. I have been rough on body so I have sore shoulders sometimes, I have heel spurs that make my feet hurt each are just normal wear as we get older.

Now what I let go in my mouth makes me feel weird sometimes, colas for one, breads all kinds, white sugar, fake sugars, desserts, pastas, anything processed to the point of not knowing it started as a food at some point. Weird things happen nerves on fire, feet and hands swelling, etc but this is my body telling me stop putting that in your mouth it doesn't like it. On top of this taking a man made medication for anxiety and wanting to get off it makes you hear all kinds of false things. I know my body doesn't like these things and have known this but with my anxiety has made it bigger than life its self sometimes.

I started on a journey years ago stopped and have recently started again things that are wholesome and God made have never affected me, those things that are man made have always made me feel yucky and out of sorts. Just like sitting inside all day in the AC with all my man made conviences make me feel out of sorts and being outside working to exhaustion and breathing in the hot humid air and soaking up Gods creation makes me feel good, satisfied.

What we let go into our bodies whether its by mouth, sight, ears, or through our biggest organ our skin affect us in more ways than we can ever imagine.  I let myself eat and hear what I shouldn't, I let it soak in so that my body feels it and is trying so hard to tell me to stop.

I had the kids make posters years ago on one side they put pictures man made things and on the other they put things only made by God that side was the prettiest.

Words can be man made or God made as well what we let come out of our mouths can affect people in so many ways. We should think and let the words come that we know our Father in Heaven would want us to say.

I hope that all have a very blessed day and I have been so busy building a goat stall, gates, gardening, canning, sewing, etc that I haven't even thought of blogging. But I will do a plain and simple post before the end of the week. The kiddos are going to youth conference this weekend so we have been sewing skirts for Ashley and 2 new ties for Wyatt.



  1. Word can do more harm than weapons, it seems, Erika. They last longer than it takes a physical wound to heal. I spent almost half a century, feeling bad about myself because of the verbal abuse I received growing up. Please don't suffer as I did! You must realize that when people say cruel things it is something that is amiss in their personalities, not yours. True,good and Godly people don't hurt others like that, even if they cloak it under "it's good for you to hear". As for food, if you keep a diary of how you feel when eat certain foods, you'll soon learn what you can eat. (although foods that are bad for me still make my mouth water, ha!) I did this and discovered I cannot eat meat, dairy or gluten. Feel so much better now. I once knew a man that had severe anxiety. So much that his family was ready to commit him. Then one day a doctor suggested he stop eating food with yeast in it. It was like a miracle, how quickly he changed!

  2. Erika, none of us are worthy. Only by God's grace are we made whole. Please do not listen to others' negative words. I will pray for your anxiety - that you will feel God's comfort and peace instead. {{HUGS}}


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