Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The art of marriage

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I can't say I am an expert on marriage far from it. Even 16 1/2 years married life together and a year before that of dating only scratches the surface. But I do know it takes 2 to tango and marriage is a tango. Out of all the pictures I could have chosen this one fit us the best. Handsome had a Harley when we met and I grew up around them. We rode all over the place for miles on that thing and loved every minute of it.

We have grown and changed so much from the 19 yr old and 28 yr old that married in an office of a Florida courthouse. Yes we eloped that fit us as well. He stepped off a plane after 8 months of deployment on a Monday night, Wednesday he gave me a ring and asked the question, Friday we drove 2 hours to Pensacola and married.

We bought a house and 14 months later Ash was born. No that is not happily ever after. It is work and more work, compromise, and then some more work. But for most it is the work that makes it all so sweet. Today in our society it is when the going gets tough the tough quit. Divorce is the easy way out of a "problem"

We hit road bumps but instead of driving over them slowly we stop all together and quit. Why is that? Is it the instant gratification attitude that is so prevalent and when one or the other or both isn't getting what they want all the time anymore its time to move on. Marriage is give and take sometimes we give a heck of alot more than we take and sometimes we are are the ones who need alot more than the other. Compromise.....

I had a lightbulb come on the other morning on our drive to church. Yguy is a grouch in the morning and I mean grouch you can't even look at him without him getting his dander up. If you leave him alone for about 30 minutes he wakes up fully and is fine. He will come to breakfast and do what needs to be done but leave him alone while he does it all. Handsome likes to push his buttons mostly in a goodnatured way but he hasn't gotten it that if you leave him alone he does pull out of it, joking with him makes it worse. Well that worse can stretch to all day when it comes to his dad. Its a pain the 2 of them all day.... I thought about it Sunday on our drive and it came to me do I hold grudges againest my husband when he has pushed one of my buttons.

The answer is a resounding yes. Yguy loves his mom he is a self proclaimed momma's boy and mimickes me alot! So his attitude is mine when hubby bugs me. I really saw what I have done by not respecting my husband how my son treats his dad. Yguy takes it to the extreme and it is a problem. Yes he is a 12 yr old going thru puperty as well but he also needs to respect his dad by my example I have undermined that. On that other hand hubby can learn to stop pushing the buttons as well :0)

Do we set that good example for our children?

This week I have tried really hard and yes it is only Tuesday, to not let my own grouchiness ruin the morning to set a good example. I am mostly a morning person I love getting things done early and I love that we are eating breakfast as a family and reading the scriptures. But I am human and do have mornings where I need that time of peace like Wyatt leave me alone and I will wake up etc. I am not always like that just some mornings.

So by my example I hope to change.... This is me giving more than I am receiving and realizing that I can impact alot more than I think by my example and behavior towards my husband.

Have a blessed day!

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